INDONESIAN NICE WEDDING: NEW STORY

A wedding is

A wedding is the ceremony in which two people are united in marriage or a similar institution. Wedding traditions and customs vary greatly between cultures, ethnic groups, religions, countries, and social classes. Most wedding ceremonies involve an exchange of wedding vows by the couple, presentation of a gift (offering, ring(s), symbolic item, flowers, money), and a public proclamation of marriage by an authority figure or leader. Special wedding garments are often worn, and the ceremony is sometimes followed by a wedding reception. Music, poetry, prayers or readings from Scripture or literature is also optionally incorporated into the ceremony.
Contents[hide]
1 Common elements across cultures
2 Traditional wedding garb
3 Wedding music
3.1 Western weddings
4 Wedding customs around the world
4.1 African customs
4.1.1 Ethiopia
4.1.2 Pygmy wedding traditions
4.2 Arab wedding customs
4.3 Bengali wedding customs
4.4 Chinese wedding customs
4.5 European customs
4.5.1 British customs
4.5.2 French customs
4.5.3 Greek customs
4.5.4 Italian customs
4.5.5 Polish customs
4.5.6 Romanian customs
4.5.7 Scottish customs
4.5.8 Handfasting
4.5.9 Swedish customs
4.6 Filipino wedding customs
4.7 Indian wedding customs
4.8 Japanese wedding customs
4.8.1 Western-style ceremonies
4.8.2 Contemporary-style ceremonies
4.9 Malay wedding customs
4.10 North American customs
4.10.1 United States customs
4.10.1.1 Wedding gifts
4.10.1.2 African-American customs
4.11 Pakistani wedding customs
4.12 Iranian wedding
4.13 Russian wedding customs
5 Religious aspects of weddings
5.1 Customs associated with various religions
5.1.1 Christian customs
5.1.1.1 Mar Thoma customs
5.1.1.2 Quaker customs
5.1.2 Hindu customs
5.1.3 Jewish customs
5.1.4 Mormon customs
6 Wedding types
6.1 Civil wedding
6.2 Elopement
6.3 Same-sex wedding
6.4 Destination wedding
6.5 White wedding
6.6 Weekend wedding
6.7 Military wedding
6.8 Double wedding
7 Gallery
8 See also
8.1 Wedding planning
8.2 Wedding traditions
8.3 Ceremony aspects
8.4 Related travel
8.5 Religious aspects
8.6 Related events
8.7 Related categories
8.8 Glossaries
9 References
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[edit] Common elements across cultures
A number of cultures have adopted the traditional Western custom of the white wedding, in which a bride wears a white dress and veil. This tradition was popularized through the wedding of Queen Victoria. Some say Victoria's choice of a white gown may have simply been a sign of extravagance, but may have also been influenced by the values she held which emphasized sexual purity.[1] Within the modern 'white wedding' tradition, a white dress and veil are unusual choices for a woman's second or subsequent wedding. The notion that a white gown might symbolize sexual purity has been long abandoned, and is criticized by etiquette writers like Judith Martin as distasteful.[2]
The use of a wedding ring has long been part of religious weddings in Europe and America, but the origin of the tradition is unclear. Historians like Vicky Howard point out that belief in the "ancient" quality of the practice are most likely a modern invention.[3] "Double ring" ceremonies are also a modern practice, a groom's wedding band not appearing in the United States until the early 20th Century.[4]
The wedding is often followed by a reception, in which the rituals may include toasting the newlyweds, their first dance as spouses, and the cutting of a wedding cake.

A Parsee wedding, 1905
[edit] Traditional wedding garb
Cheongsam or Hanfu, Chinese traditional formal wear.
Batik and Kebaya, a garment worn by the Javanese people of Indonesia and also by the Malay people of Malaysia.
Barong Tagalog, an embroidered, formal men's garment of the Philippines.
Kimono, the traditional garments of Japan
Sari, Indian popular and traditional dress in India
Dhoti, male garment in South India
Dashiki, the traditional West African wedding attire
Áo Dài, traditional garments of Vietnam
Morning dress, western daytime formal dress
Kilt, male garment particular to Scottish culture [5][6][7]
Kittel, a white robe worn by the groom at an Orthodox Jewish wedding. The kittel is worn only under the Chupah, and is removed before the reception.
Topor, a type of conical headgear
Evening Suits
Black tie ("dinner jacket" in the UK; often referred to as a "Tuxedo" in the US; traditionally appropriate only for use after 6:00 p.m., but also seen in daytime, especially in the United States)
Non-traditional "tuxedo" variants (colored jackets/ties, "wedding suits")
White tie ("evening dress" in the UK; very formal evening attire)
Sherwani, a long coat-like garment worn in South Asia
Wedding crown, worn by Scandinavian brides
Wedding veil
Wedding dress
Langa Oni, traditional two piece garment worn by unmarried Telugu Hindu women.
[edit] Wedding music
Main article: Wedding music
[edit] Western weddings
Music played at Western weddings includes a processional song for walking down the aisle (ex: wedding march) and reception dance music includes:
Various works for trumpet and organ, arguably the most famous of which include the Prince of Denmark's March by Jeremiah Clarke as a processional, the "Trumpet Tune" by Henry Purcell and the "Trumpet Voluntary" by John Stanley as recessionals.
Selections by George Frideric Handel, perhaps most notably the "Air" from his Water Music as processional and the "Alla Hornpipe" as recessional.
The "Bridal Chorus" from Lohengrin by Richard Wagner, often used as the processional and commonly known as "Here Comes the Bride". Richard Wagner is said to have been anti-Semitic,[8] and as a result, the Bridal Chorus is often not used at Jewish weddings.
Johann Pachelbel's Canon in D is an alternative processional.
The "Wedding March" from Felix Mendelssohn's incidental music for the Shakespeare play, A Midsummer Night's Dream, used as a recessional.
The "Toccata" from Charles-Marie Widor's Symphony for Organ No. 5, used as a recessional.
Segments of the Ode to Joy, the fourth movement of Ludwig van Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.
At wedding receptions, Der Ententanz, a 1950s Swiss Oom-pah song known more commonly in America as The Chicken Dance, has become a popular part of the reception dance music.
Bridal march
The Bridal Chorus from Richard Wagner's opera Lohengrin
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[edit] Wedding customs around the world

It has been suggested that this section be split into a new article titled Wedding customs by country. (Discuss)
[edit] African customs
[edit] Ethiopia
The Wedding procedure starts with the groom's side sending a representative who requests the marriage between the parties. Then an appointment is given and a verdict on the marriage is given. Before the wedding the Dowry (ጧሎሽ) is given as agreed. On the wedding day the groom and three or four "bestmen" (ሚዜ) go to the wife's house. At the house the wife's family and friends ceremonially block the entrance to the house. The associates must sing strongly and force their way into the house. The first bestman holds perfume and sprays everywhere inside the house.[9]
[edit] Pygmy wedding traditions
Pygmy engagements were not long and usually formalized by an exchange of visits between the families concerned. The groom to be would bring a gift of game or maybe a few arrows to his new in-laws, take his bride home to live in his band and with his new parents. His only obligation is to find among his relatives a girl willing to marry a brother or male cousin of his wife. If he feels he can feed more than one wife, he may have additional wives.
[edit] Arab wedding customs
Main article: Arabic wedding
Although Christian weddings in the Arab World bear similarities to Western weddings, Muslim weddings in the Arab countries are influenced by Muslim traditions. Muslim weddings start with a Sheikh and Al-kitaab (book) for the bride and groom. A wedding is not Islamically valid unless both bride and groom are willing, and the groom is often encouraged to visit her before the wedding (as advised in many aḥadīth of the Islamic prophet Muhammad). However, these visits must be chaperoned to ensure purity of action between the two. Men and women in wedding ceremonies and receptions are segregated, with areas for men and for women.
[edit] Bengali wedding customs
Main article: Bengali wedding
Bengali wedding refers to both Muslim and Hindu weddings in Bangladesh and West Bengal. Although Muslim and Hindu marriages have their distinctive religious rituals, there are many common cultural rituals in marriages across religion among Bengali people.
[edit] Chinese wedding customs
Main articles: Chinese marriage and Southern Chinese wedding
Traditional Chinese marriage is a ceremonial ritual within Chinese societies that involve a marriage established by pre-arrangement between families. Within Chinese culture, romantic love was allowed, and monogamy was the norm for most ordinary citizens. A band of musicians with gongs and flute-like instruments accompanies the bride parade to groom's home. Similar music is also played at the wedding banquet. Depending on the region that the bride hails from, Chinese weddings will have different traditions such as Tea Ceremony or the use of a wedding emcee. Also in modern times, Chinese couples will often go to photo studios to take "glamour shots" posing in multiple gowns and various backgrounds.
Most regional Chinese wedding rituals follow the main Chinese wedding traditions, although some rituals are particular to the peoples of the southern China region. In most southern Chinese wedding, the bride price is based on the groom's economic status. The idea of "selling the daughter" or bride isn't a phrase that is used often therefore the price of the bride isn't too demanding. Most of the time the bride price is in the form of gold jewelry, fine fabric, or money, even a roast pig which symbolizes the bride to be a virgin. Wedding presents are given by the elderly couples or couples that are older than the newlyweds and tea is served by the younger family members.
[edit] European customs
[edit] British customs

A wedding carriage in Bristol, England
The Western custom of a bride wearing a white wedding dress came to symbolize purity in the Victorian era, not virginity. Within the "white wedding" tradition, a white dress and veil is not considered appropriate in the second or subsequent wedding of a widow or divorcee. The specific conventions of Western weddings, largely from a Protestant and Catholic viewpoint, are discussed at "white wedding".
A wedding is often followed or accompanied by a wedding reception, which in some areas may be known as the 'Wedding Breakfast', at which an elaborate wedding cake is served. Western traditions include toasting the couple, the newlyweds having the first dance, and cutting the cake. A bride may throw her bouquet to the assembled group of all unmarried women in attendance, with folklore suggesting the person who catches it will be the next to wed. A fairly recent equivalent has the groom throwing the bride's garter to the assembled unmarried men; the man who catches it is supposedly the next to wed.
The Wedding Breakfast is one occasion where every member of the family who has had at least some role in the wedding is present. It is also important as the first time the newly married bride and groom share their first meal together as a lawfully wedded couple. The word Breakfast comes from a more ancient tradition of fasting before the wedding ceremony, the Wedding Breakfast is therefore 'breaking that fast'. The modern Wedding Breakfast includes the service of food to guests that can range from traditional roasts, buffets, or regional treats such as in the case of a London Wedding[10] in the 'East End'.
A modern tradition is for brides to wear or carry "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" during the service. It is considered good luck to do so. Often the bride attempts to have one item that meets all of these qualifications, such as a borrowed blue handkerchief which is "new to her" but loaned by her grandmother (thus making it old). Another addition to this custom is to wear a coin in one's shoe to bring prosperity.
The full text of the verse is:
Something old, something new,
Something borrowed, something blue,
And silver sixpence in your shoe.[11]
Hedsor House, Stoke Park and Leeds Castle are some of the most famous and used wedding venues around London.
[edit] French customs
In France, only civil weddings are legally recognized (due to the concept of laïcité), they are performed in the town hall by the mayor (or another civil servant acting on his/her behalf). At least one of the spouses must reside in the town where the ceremony takes place. Since many people choose to also have a religious wedding, the religious ceremony often takes place immediately after the civil one. Town halls often offer a more elaborate ceremony for couples who do not wish to marry religiously.
If the two ceremonies take place separately, the civil one will usually include close family and witnesses. Once the civil ceremony is complete, the couple will receive a livret de famille, a booklet where a copy of the marriage certificate is recorded. This is an official document and, should the couple have children, each child's birth certificate will be recorded in the livret de famille too. The civil ceremony in France is free of charge.
In smaller French towns, the groom may meet his fiancée at her home on the day of the wedding and escort her to the chapel where the ceremony is being held. As the couple proceeds to the chapel, children will stretch long white ribbons across the road which the bride will cut as she passes.
At the chapel, the bride and groom are seated on two red velvet chairs underneath a silk canopy called a carre. Laurel leaves may be scattered across their paths when they exit the chapel. Sometimes small coins are also tossed for the children to gather.

A traditional French wedding celebration at Château de Hattonchâtel
At the reception, the couple customarily uses a toasting cup called a Coupe de Mariage. The origin of giving this toast began in France, when a small piece of toast was literally dropped into the couple's wine to ensure a healthy life. The couple would lift their glass to "a toast", as is common in Western culture today.
Some couples choose to serve a croquembouche instead of a wedding cake. This dessert is a pyramid of crème-filled pastry puffs, drizzled with a caramel glaze.
At a more boisterous wedding, tradition involves continuing the celebration until very late at night. After the reception, those invited to the wedding will gather outside the newlyweds' window and bang pots and pans; this is called a shivaree. They are then invited into the house for some more drinks in the couple's honor, after which the couple is finally allowed to be alone for their first night together as husband and wife. This practice spread throughout France as a way to celebrate special occasions. Decorative replicas of these special sabres can be purchased from artisans in Lyon, (the French capital of cutlery).
[edit] Greek customs
Main article: Marriage in the Eastern Orthodox Church
Two or three days before the wedding, the couple organizes a celebration called Krevati (Greek for bed) in their new home. In Krevati, friends and relatives of the couple put money and young children on the couple's new bed for prosperity and fertility in their life. After the custom, they usually have a party with food and music.
On the day of the wedding, usually Saturday, but also Friday or Sunday, the groom cannot see the bride until the wedding ceremony. The groom usually arrives first in church and waits for bride, who usually arrives late. After they exchange flower bouquets, they have the wedding ceremony, where the best man puts the wedding rings and crowns on the couple. The couple drink red wine from the same glass (between one and three sips, depending on the tradition). This is not "communion" in the formal religious sense, but about sharing the cup of life. At the end of the wedding ceremony, as the newly wedded pair leave the church, the guests throw rice and flowers for fertility and felicity. Special guests, such as close friends and family receive sugar-coated almonds (traditionally an odd number, usually seven but sometimes five) as a gift from the couple. Most Greek ceremonies are Orthodox.
After the ceremony, usually the couple hold a great wedding party in some place with plenty of food, drinks, music and dance, usually until next morning. The wedding party starts with the invited people waiting for the couple, who usually come after some time. They start the party dancing blues and eating a piece of their wedding cake. In some point of the party, they also dance the traditional zeibekiko (groom) and çiftetelli (bride).
In many places of Greece, where they hold a more traditional wedding, they usually play only traditional music and eat local food. For example in the region of Cyclades, they eat the traditional pasteli (solid honey with sesame) and in the region of Crete they cook rice with goat. In most traditional weddings, they bake whole animals like pigs, goats or sheep just like the Greek Easter celebration. Before the church ceremony, especially in smaller areas, usually friends and relatives of the bride and the groom, accompanies them separately to the church playing traditional instruments, according to the region.
A typical Greek wedding will usually have more than 100 invited people (but usually 250-500) who are friends, siblings, grandparents, uncles, aunts, first or second cousins, neighbors and colleagues. It is common to have guests whom the couple has never met before. This is because the people who will be invited are usually determined by the parents of the couple and not by the couple themselves. Traditionally, the whole village would have attended the wedding, so very often the parents invite friends of theirs and their children, to the weddings of their own children.
There are many other traditions which are local to their regional areas. One famous tradition is the pinning of money on the bride's dress. This custom originated in one part of Greece, where it is a substitute for wedding presents, however it has become more widespread recently.
[edit] Italian customs
In some parts of Italy, a party, known as a Serenade, is thrown outside of the bride's home by the groom. His family and friends come and wait for the bride, entertaining themselves until she appears. The groom then sings to his bride to further seduce her. Once his song is sung, the party ends.
The day of the wedding, the groomsmen try their hardest to make the groom as uncomfortable as possible by saying things like "Maybe she forgot where the church is".
It is also traditional for the grooms family to give a dowry to the bride and to provide the engagement ring. The bride's family is then responsible for receiving the guests of the wedding in their home for a reception afterward.
The color green is very important in the Italian wedding. In Italy, the tradition of something blue is replaced with something green. This color brings good luck to the married couple. The veil and bridesmaids also were important in an Italian wedding. The tradition began in Ancient Rome when the veil was used to hide the bride from any spirits that would corrupt her and the bridesmaids were to wear similar outfits so that the evil spirits were further confused.
An old Roman custom was that brides threw nuts at rejected suitors as they left the ceremony.[12]
After dessert, more dancing commences, gifts are given, and the guests eventually begin to leave. In Southern Italy, as the guests leave, they hand envelopes of money to the bride and groom, who return the gift with a wedding favor or bomboniere, a small token of appreciation.
[edit] Polish customs
In Polish weddings the celebrations may continue for two or three days. In the past, the engagement ceremony was organized by the future groom as a formal family gathering, during which he asked his chosen lady to marry him. In the recent years this custom has changed and today an engagement is much more personal and intimate. An elegant dinner party afterward is still a nice way to inform the closest family members about the couples' decision to get married.
In some regions of Poland the tradition to invite the wedding guests in person is still upheld. Many young couples, accompanied by the parents, visit their family and friends to hand them the wedding invitations personally.
According to the old tradition a groom arrives with his parents at the house of a bride just before the wedding ceremony. At that time both parents and parents-in-law give a young couple their blessing. The couple enter the church together and walks up to the altar followed by two witnesses and the parents. In Poland it is quite unusual for the bride to be walked down the aisle or to have bridesmaids and groomsmen in a wedding. The couple is assisted by two witnesses, a man (usually grooms' side) and a woman (usually brides' side) who are either family members or close friends.
The Polish bride traditionally wears a white dress and a veil. The groom, on the other hand usually wears a fitted suit with a bow tie and a boutonnière that matches the brides' bouquet. During the ceremony wedding rings are exchanged and both the husband and wife wear them on their right hand. Right after the ceremony the closest family and all the guest form a line in the front of the church to congratulate the newlyweds and wish them love and happiness. As soon as the married couple leave the church they get showered with rice for luck or guests drop coins at their feet for them to pick up. This is done to ensure a good and prosperous future for the newlyweds.
Once all the guests have showered the couple with kisses, hugs and flowers everyone heads to the reception. It is a custom in Poland to prepare "passing gates" on the way to the reception for the newlyweds who, in order to pass, have to give the "gate keepers" some vodka. This is a misinterpretation of an earlier tradition, where the "passing gates" were built if the bride was an orphan and money collected by "gate keepers" from the guests was handed over to the bride as her dowry (being an orphan usually implied poverty).
The married couple is welcomed at the reception place by the parents with bread and salt. The bread symbolizes the prosperity, salt stands for hardship of life, the parents wish the young couple that they never go hungry and learn how to deal with every day hardships together. The wedding party lasts (and the bride and groom remain) until the last guest leaves, usually until morning.
In Poland, movements like Human Liberties Crusade [13] [14] or Wedding of the Weddings promote non-alcoholic wedding celebrations.
[edit] Romanian customs
Main article: Lăutari
Lăutari are musicians performing traditional songs. The music of the lăutari establishes the structure of the elaborate Romanian peasant weddings. The lăutari also function as guides through the wedding rituals and moderate any conflicts that may arise during what can be a long, alcohol-fueled party. Over a period of nearly 48 hours, this can be very physically strenuous.
Following custom almost certainly dating back at least to the Middle Ages, most lăutari spend the fees from these wedding ceremonies on extended banquets for their friends and families over the days immediately following the wedding.
The wedding begins at the Town hall where the couple literally gets married in the presence of their closest friends and relatives. After that, they go to the bride's house where the Lăutari come and sing themed songs like "Ia-ți mireasă ziua bună" (Say goodbye, bride) while the bride, the groom and the couple's parents take part in a symbolic preparation for the wedding (the best man and the best maid put a flower on their chests, arrange the groom's tie and shaves him and put the bride's veil, all in front of a big mirror decorated with pieces of veil and white flowers, mirror that separates the bride from the groom). They then go to the church where the religious ceremony is performed. Afterwords they go to a restaurant where the banquet begins.
The newlyweds meet the guests at the entrance and they serve a glass of champagne while the Lautari sing the "Marș de intampinare" (meeting march). After all the guests have arrived, the couple breaks the ice and starts dancing a waltz. Later on, the chefs do ”Dansul găinii” (the chicken dance: they dress up a roasted chicken and decorate it and they dance with it while the best man negociate the chicken's price with them. Another tradition is the bride kidnapping. A few friends of the newlywedstake the bride while the groom is not paying attention and take her somewhere else, usually to a club. The groom is then forced to negociate the bride's price and to redeem it, but not until the "criminals" show evidence of having the bride ( a shoe, her necklace, etc.). Usually, the "thieves" ask for beverage. They then take the bride back to the wedding and as a punishment they are forced to dance a waltz with the brice lifted up.
[edit] Scottish customs
Main article: Marriage in Scotland
Scotland is a popular place for young English couples to get married since, in Scotland, parents' permission is not required if both the bride and groom are old enough to legally be married (16). In England it was the case that if either was 16 or 17 then the permission of parents had to be sought. Thus Scotland, and especially the blacksmith's at Gretna Green, became a very popular place for couples to elope to, especially those under 18 and usually living in England. Gretna Green now hosts hundreds of weddings a year and is Scotland's third most popular tourist attraction.
Customs:
The bride's family sends invitations on behalf of the couple to the wedding guests, addressed by hand. The couple may send the invitations themselves, especially if they are more middle-aged. The invites will specify if the invitation is for ceremony and/or reception and/or evening following the meal at the reception.
Guests send or deliver wedding gifts to the bride's family home before the wedding day. Alternatively, the couple may register at department store and have a list of gifts there. The shop then organizes delivery, usually to the bride's parents' house or to the reception venue.
A wedding ceremony takes place at a church, register office or possibly another favorite location, such as a hilltop. In this regard Scotland differs significantly from England where only pre-approved public locations may be used for the wedding ceremony. Most ceremonies take place mid afternoon and last about half an hour during which the marriage schedule is signed by the couple and two witnesses, usually the best man and chief bridesmaid.
The newly wed couple may leave the ceremony to the sound of bagpipes.
There is a wedding reception following the ceremony, usually at a different venue.
The bridal party lines up in a receiving line and the wedding guests file past, introducing themselves.
Usually a drink is served while the guests and bridal party mingle. In some cases the drink may be whisky or wine with a non alcoholic alternative.
The best man and bride's father toast the bride and groom with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes, usually humorous. The groom then follows with a response on behalf of his bride. Champagne is usually provided for the toast.
There is nearly always dancing following the meal. Often in Scotland this takes the form of a céilidh, a night of informal traditional Scottish dancing in couples and groups to live traditional music. The first dance is led by the bride and groom, followed by the rest of the bridal party and finally the guests.
The cake-cutting ceremony takes place; the bride and groom jointly hold a cake cutter and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake.
Gifts are not opened at the reception; they are either opened ahead of time and sometimes displayed at the reception, or if guests could not deliver gifts ahead of time, they are placed on a table at the reception for the bride and groom to take home with them and open later.
A sprig of white heather is usually worn as a buttonhole for good luck.
It is the norm for the groom and much of the male bridal party and guests to wear kilts, although suits are also worn. Kilts and Highland dress are often rented for this purpose [citation required].
[edit] Handfasting
Main article: Handfasting
Handfasting is a wedding ritual in which the bride's and groom's hands are tied together. It is said to be based on an ancient Celtic tradition and to have inspired the phrase "tying the knot". "Handfasting" is favored by practitioners of Celtic-based religions and spiritual traditions, such as Wicca and Druidism.[citation needed]
[edit] Swedish customs
In a Swedish church wedding, the priest generally doesn't say when the couple may kiss each other, in contrast to Anglo-Saxon traditions. It is probably because the kiss doesn't traditionally belong to Swedish wedding customs, but has relatively recently been associated with marriage.[15]
In Swedish weddings, the bride and groom usually go down the aisle together, rather than the bride being escorted by her father.[16]
[edit] Filipino wedding customs
Main article: Marriage and wedding customs in the Philippines
The groom usually wears the Barong Tagalog during the wedding, along with the male attendants, though nowadays the wealthy opt to don Western attire such as a tuxedo. Weddings held within the same year by two siblings, usually sisters, called Sukob are frowned upon as it is regarded as bad luck. Some hold it that the wedding rings dropping to the ground is a portent of bad luck (this is usually said to the ring bearer to ensure that the child is careful in handling the rings). Money, in the form of paper bills, is sometimes taped or pinned to the groom and bride's dress during their first dance.
[edit] Indian wedding customs
Main article: Indian wedding
Indian weddings take anywhere from five minutes to several days, depending on region, religion, and a variety of other factors. Due to the diversity of Indian culture, the wedding style, ceremony and rituals may vary greatly amongst various states, regions, religions and castes. While the Christians of India usually follow a more or less Western wedding ceremony, the Indian Hindus, Muslims, Jains and Sikhs follow traditions quite different from the West. In certain regions, it is quite common that during the traditional wedding days, there would be a tilak ceremony (where the groom is anointed on his forehead), a ceremony for adorning the bride's hand and feet with henna (called mehendi) accompanied by Ladies' Sangeet (music and dance), and many other pre-wedding ceremonies. Another important ceremony followed in certain areas is the "Haldi" program where the bride and the groom are anointed with turmeric paste. All of the close relatives make sure that they have anointed the couple with turmeric. In certain regions, on the day of the wedding proper, the Bridegroom, his friends and relatives come singing and dancing to the wedding site in a procession called baraat, and then the religious rituals take place to solemnize the wedding, according to the religion of the couple. While the groom may wear traditional Sherwani or dhoti or Western suit, or some other local costume, his face, in certain regions, is usually veiled with a mini-curtain of flowers called sehra. In certain regions, the bride (Hindu or Muslim) always wears red clothes, never white because white symbolizes widowhood in Indian culture. In Southern and Eastern states the bride usually wears a red Sari, but in northern and central states the preferred garment is a decorated skirt-blouse and veil called lehenga. After the solemnization of marriage, the bride departs with her husband. This is a very sad event for the bride's relatives because traditionally she is supposed to permanently "break-off" her relations with her blood relatives to join her husband's family. Among Christians in the state of Kerala, the bridegroom departs with the bride's family. The wedding may be followed by a "reception" by the groom's parents at the groom's place. While gifts and money to the couple are commonly given, the traditional dowry from the bride's parents to the couple is now officially forbidden by law.
[edit] Japanese wedding customs
Main article: Japanese wedding
Japanese customs fall into two categories: traditional Shinto ceremonies, and modern Western-style ceremonies. In either case, the couple must first be legally married by filing for marriage at their local government office, and the official documentation must be produced in order for the ceremony to be held. Before ever getting married there are two types of mate selection that may occur with the couple: (1) miai, or an arranged marriage and (2) ren ai, or a love match.[17] The Japanese bride-to-be may be painted pure white from head to toe, visibly declaring her maiden status to the gods. Two choices of headgear exist. One, the watabōshi, is a white hood; the other, called the tsunokakushi, serves to hide the bride's 'horns of jealousy.' It also symbolizes the bride's intention to become a gentle and obedient wife.

A traditional Japanese wedding ceremony
Traditional Japanese wedding customs (shinzen shiki) involve an elaborate ceremony held at a Shinto shrine. Japanese weddings are being increasingly extravagant with all the elaborate details placed into thought. However, in some cases, younger generations choose to abandon the formal ways by having a "no host party" for a wedding.[18] In this situation, the guests include mainly of the couple's friends who pay an attendance fee.
[edit] Western-style ceremonies
In recent years, the "Western Style Wedding" (influenced by Christian weddings) has become the choice of most couples in Japan.[19] An industry has sprung up, dedicated to providing couples with a ceremony modeled after church rituals. Japanese western style weddings are generally held in a chapel, either in a simple or elaborate ceremony, often at a dedicated wedding chapel within a hotel.
Before the ceremony, there is a rehearsal. Often during this rehearsal, the bride's mother lowers the veil for her daughter, signifying the last act that a mother can do for her daughter, before "giving her away". The father of the bride, much like in Western ceremonies, walks the bride down the aisle to her awaiting groom.
After the rehearsal comes the procession. The wedding celebrant will often wear a wedding cross, or cana, a cross with two interlocking wedding rings attached, which symbolize a couple's commitment to sharing a life together in the bonds of holy matrimony. The wedding celebrant gives a brief welcome and an introductory speech before announcing the bride's entrance. The procession ends with the groom bowing to the bride's father. The father bows in return.
The service then starts. The service is given either in Japanese, English or quite often, a mix of both. It follows Protestant ceremony, relaxed and not overtly religious. Typically part of 1 Corinthians 13 is read from the Bible. After the reading, there is a prayer and a short message, explaining the sanctity of the wedding vows (seiyaku). The bride and groom share their vows and exchange rings. The chapel register is signed and the new couple is announced. This is often followed by the traditional wedding kiss. The service can conclude with another hymn and a benediction.
[edit] Contemporary-style ceremonies
With the two types of ceremonies, Shinto and Western, available it was bound for the two to be combined into what is called a contemporary Japanese wedding. Contemporary Japanese weddings are celebrated in many ways. On the beginning of the wedding day, the participants are to get ready at the parlor's beauty shop. The responsibility of the beauty shop is to dress the bride, the groom, and the other participants in the formal Japanese attire. Dressing the bride is an important task because the bride is to change into several outfits throughout her wedding day. Due to the complexity of the design, dressing a bride can be difficult and time consuming and for this reason the bride must be the first person to arrive two hours prior to the wedding ceremony. The bride's attire consists of an extravagant kimono, heavy make-up, a wig, and a head covering. An hour prior to the wedding ceremony, the guests and the groom should start to arrive.[20]
When everyone is dressed in their formal attire, the bride and the groom are to separate from each other and meet their close relatives in a waiting room. The relatives present will appear in the family photo and will also attend the religious ceremony. During this gathering, the kaizoe (assistant) will inform the participants of what will take place and what they should do during the day since they are not familiar with the ceremony.[20]
When all is understood, the relatives and participants are brought to the photo studio where the professional photographs are to be taken. Taking the photographs of the bride, the groom, and their relatives is considered to be the central part of the wedding day. The photographs of the couple and their family are designed to represent the couple's prospective future together.[20]
After the lengthy photo session, the bride, the groom, and others are brought to the Shinto shrine. Nowadays, the Shinto shrine may be conveniently located inside a hotel where all the activities will take place. A Shinto priest conducts the ceremony. In the ceremony, the bride and the groom are purified. However, the ceremony's important event occurs when the bride and the groom exchange nuptial cups of sake also known as san-san-ku-do. With the addition of Western tradition, the exchange of rings and weddings vows also take place. Those guests who did not attend the religious ceremony are able to view the ceremony on video screens located in the lobby.[20]
Like Western-style traditions, a reception takes place right after the wedding ceremony. The guests of the reception include family members, friends, and colleagues. Due to the wedding industry's attempt to maximize time and space, the reception will last exactly two hours. The reception does not include any random activities, but follows a strict order of events. The reception includes dramatic entrances by the bride and the groom with special effects, speeches, and other performances.[20]
Throughout the reception, the bride shall receive the guests' utmost attention because she changes two to three times for the dramatic entrances. With all the dramatic entrances, the groom will join the bride. For example, the first entrance includes the bride, the groom, and the nakodo couple. Nakodo means a "matchmaker" or a "go-between", which is usually referred to the husband. The nakodo couple plays such an important role that their names appear on the announcement of the wedding. The purpose of the nakodo is to symbolize a stable marriage. As the two couples appear a special effect of a cloud of white smoke will appear to surround them. Simultaneously, the hall lights are dimmed and the stage lighting will turn to the color of rose-pink; this astonishes the guests. Pictures are to be taken during the dramatic entrances of the bride and the groom. After the photographs have been taken, they will be led back to their table.[20]
At this point the Master of Ceremonies will congratulate the newlyweds and their family. He/she will then introduce the nakodo, who will start the opening speeches and more speeches will follow. Being that the reception is highly structured the speakers will have the idea of being formal and concise in mind. With all the speeches finished, the bride and the groom will perform the Western-style traditions, which include the following: (1) the cake cutting ceremony and (2) the newlyweds' first dance as husband and wife.[20]
The next part of the reception is the toast, or kanpai, which simplifies the mood of the reception where the guests can start to relax, eat, and drink. What follows the toast are the short congratulatory speeches made by relatives, friends, and colleagues. During this time, the bride has gone to change into her first costume and continues throughout the reception. However, the groom will also have a chance to change into his costume, which is the Western tuxedo. By the end of the night, both the bride and the groom have changed from their traditional Japanese attire to their Western-style attire.[20]
After their last change of costumes, the newlyweds will perform the candle service. Both will have a long, unlit candle, which will be lit from the table where their parents are seated. Next, the couple will walk around the room in a circle and light the candles placed on their guests' table. Once all the candles are lit, the newlyweds will return to their table where they will light what is called the Memorial Candle.[20]
By the time the candle service is done the two hours restriction will soon expire. The remaining few minutes includes short speeches, songs, dances, etc. As the reception ends a flower presentation ceremony will take place, which is where the newlyweds will present their parents with a gift of flowers to display appreciation for their parents raising them to the people they are today. At this point, the reception has ended with quick flashes and farewells.
[edit] Malay wedding customs
Main article: Malay wedding
A Malay wedding ceremony spreads over two days, beginning with the akad nikah ceremony on the first day. The groom signs the marriage contract and agrees to provide the bride with a mas kahwin (dowry). After that, their hands are dyed with henna during the berinai besar ceremony. The bride's hair is also trimmed or her eyebrows shaped by a beautician known as the mak andam. On the second day, the bride is with her family and friends with musicians and bunga manggar or palm blossom carriers at the bride's house. At the house they are greeted with sprinkling of yellow rice and scented water.
[edit] North American customs
[edit] United States customs
See also: Etiquette in Canada and the United States#Weddings
See also: Ceremonial clothing in Western cultures#Marriage
Most weddings in the United States follow a similar pattern to the Italian wedding. It traditionally follows the white wedding type (see also Wedding types below), which originates from the white color of the bride's wedding dress, but refers to an entire wedding routine. Customs and traditions vary, but common components are listed below.
Before the wedding
The host sends invitations to the wedding guests, usually one to two months before the wedding. Invitations may most formally be addressed by hand to show the importance and personal meaning of the occasion. Large numbers of invitations may be mechanically reproduced. As engraving was the highest quality printing technology available in the past, this has become associated with wedding invitation tradition. Receiving an invitation does not impose any obligation on the invitee other than promptly accepting or declining the invitation, and offering congratulations to the couple.[21]
While giving any gift to the newlywed couple is technically optional, nearly all invited guests who attend the wedding choose to do so.
A color scheme is selected by some to match everything from bridesmaids' dresses, flowers, invitations, and decorations, though there is no necessity in doing so.
At the wedding
A wedding ceremony may take place anywhere, but often a church, courthouse, or outdoor venue. The ceremony may be dictated by the couple's religious practices. The most common non-religious form is derived from a simple Anglican ceremony in the Book of Common Prayer, and can be performed in less than ten minutes, although it is often extended by inserting music or speeches. Because of its brevity, guests who arrive late may miss the ceremony entirely.
American brides usually wear a white, off-white, silver, or other very light-colored dress, particularly at their first marriage.[22] Brides may choose any color, although black is strongly discouraged by some as it is the color of mourning in the west.[23]
Uncooked rice is sometimes thrown at the newlyweds as they leave the ceremony to symbolize fertility. Some individuals, churches or communities choose birdseed due to a false but widely believed myth that birds eating the rice will burst.[24] Because of the mess that rice and birdseed make, modern couples often leave in clouds of bubbles.[25]
The wedding party may form a receiving line at this point, or later at a wedding reception, so that each guest may briefly greet the entire wedding party.
At the wedding reception
Drinks, snacks, or perhaps a full meal, especially at long receptions, are served while the guests and wedding party mingle.
Often, best men and/or maids of honor will toast newlyweds with personal thoughts, stories, and well-wishes; sometimes other guests follow with their own toasts. Champagne is usually provided for this purpose.
In a symbolic cutting of the wedding cake, the couple may jointly hold a cake knife and cut the first pieces of the wedding cake, which they feed to each other. In some sub-cultures, they may deliberately smear cake on each other's faces, which is considered vulgar elsewhere.[26][27][28]
If dancing is offered, the newlyweds first dance together briefly. Sometimes a further protocol is followed, wherein each dances next with a parent, and then possibly with other members of the wedding party. Special songs are chosen by the couple, particularly for a mother/son dance and a father/daughter dance. In some subcultures, a dollar dance takes place in which guests are expected to dance with the one of the newlyweds, and give them a small amount of cash. This practice, as is any suggestion that the guests owe money to the couple, is considered rude in most social groups as it is contrary to basic western etiquette.[29]
In the mid-twentieth century it became common for a bride to toss her bouquet over her shoulder to the assembled unmarried women during the reception. The woman who catches it, superstition has it, will be the next to marry. In a similar process, her groom tosses the bride's garter to the unmarried men, followed by the man who caught the garter placing it on the leg of the woman who caught the bouquet. While still common in many circles, these practices (particularly the latter) are falling into less favor in the 21st century.[30]
[edit] Wedding gifts
The purpose of inviting guests is to have them witness a couple's marriage ceremony and vows and to share in their joy and celebration. Gifts for the wedding couple are optional, although most guests attempt to give at least a token gift of their best wishes. Some couples and families feel, contrary to proper etiquette, that in return for the expense they put into entertaining and feeding their guests, the guests should pay them with similarly expensive gifts or cash.[31]
The couple often registers for gifts at a store well in advance of their wedding. This allows them to create a list of household items, usually including china, silverware and crystalware, linens or other fabrics, pots and pans, etc. Registries are intended to aid guests in selecting gifts the newlyweds truly want, and the service is sufficiently profitable that most retailers, from luxury shops to discount stores, offer the opportunity. Registry information should, according to etiquette, be provided only to guests upon direct request, and never included in the invitation.[32] Some couples additionally or instead register with services that enable money gifts intended to fund items such as a honeymoon, home purchase or college fund. Some find bridal registries inappropriate as they contravene traditional notions behind gifts, such as that all gifts are optional and delightful surprises personally chosen by the giver, and that registries lead to a type of price-based competition, as the couple knows the cost of each gift. Traditionally, weddings were considered a personal event and inviting people to the wedding who are not known to at least one member of the couple well enough to be able to choose an appropriate gift was considered inappropriate, and registries should therefore be unnecessary.[33] Whether considered appropriate or not, others believe that weddings are opportunities to extract funds or specific gifts from as many people as possible, and that even an invitation carries an expectation of monetary reward rather than merely congratulations.
Letters of thanks for any gift are traditionally sent promptly after the gift's receipt. Tradition allows wedding gifts to be sent up to a year after the wedding date. Thanks should be sent as soon as possible, preferably within two weeks.[21]
[edit] African-American customs
Main article: Jumping the broom
Jumping the broom developed out West African Asante custom. The broom in Ashanti and other Akan cultures also held spiritual value and symbolized sweeping away past wrongs or warding off evil spirits. Brooms were waved over the heads of marrying couples to ward off spirits. The couple would often but not always jump over the broom at the end of the ceremony.
The custom took on additional significance in the context of slavery in the United States. Slaves had no right to legal marriage; slaveholders considered slaves property and feared that legal marriage and family bonds had the potential to lead to organization and revolt. Marriage rituals, however, were important events to the Africans, who came in many cases come from richly ceremonial African cultures.
Taking marriage vows in the presence of a witness and then leaping over the handle of a broom became the common practice to create a recognized union. Brooms are also symbols of the hearth, the center of the new family being created. Jumping the broom has become a practice in many modern weddings between African Americans.[citation needed]
There are also traditions of broom jumping in Europe, in the Wicca and Celtic communities especially. They are probably unconnected with the African practice.[citation needed]
[edit] Pakistani wedding customs
Main articles: Pakistani wedding and Marriage in Pakistan
A Pakistani wedding typically consist of four ceremonies on four separate days. It may consist of 3 days if the first function called "Mehndi" is done in a combined manner by both the bride and groom's family.
The first function is Mehndi in which the families get together and celebrate the upcoming wedding function. On this day, it is customary to wear either green, yellow, orange, or other vibrant colors. The bride-to-be gets her hands painted with henna, and songs and dances go on throughout the night.The next day is "baraat" which is hosted by the bride's family. This event is usually held in a reception hall, and the groom comes over with his family and friends; a large feast is given. The bride's friends and relatives are also present, and the Baraat event can be considered the 'main' wedding event as it is the largest one out of all the events. Then there is the holy ceremony of "Nikah" which is performed by a religious Pastor or imam, after which bride and groom are declared as husband and wife.The Next day there is a function of "Walima" in which the groom's family is the host and the bride's family come over for a big feast.
On her wedding day, the bride-to-be can wear any color she wants, but vibrant colors and lots of traditional gold jewelry are typically worn. It is customary for the bride to wear traditional clothes such as a lahnga, shalwar kameez, or sari. These weddings are also typical of the Muslim community in India.
[edit] Iranian wedding
Main article: Persian marriage
Persian wedding tradition, despite its local and regional variations, like many other rituals in Persia goes back to the ancient Zoroastrian tradition.[citation needed] Though the concepts and theory of the marriage have changed drastically by Islamic traditions, the actual ceremonies have remained more or less the same as they were originally in the ancient Zoroastrian culture.
[edit] Russian wedding customs
Main article: Russian wedding
A traditional Russian wedding lasts for at least two days and some weddings last as long as a week. Throughout the celebration there is dancing, singing, long toasts, and food and drinks. The best man and maid of honor are called witnesses, "svideteli" in Russian. The ceremony and the ring exchange takes place on the first day of the wedding.
Throughout the years, Russian weddings have adopted many western customs, including bridesmaids and flower girls. During the wedding feast any of the guests can start chanting "Gor'ko" ("bitter") which usually is immediately supported by the rest of the guests. In this case bride and groom should kiss each other and the kiss should last for as long as the chanting continues.

PERNIKAHAN ADAT JAWA -SURAKARTA

Pernikahan adat Jawa - Surakarta memiliki tata cara yang khas. Dalam keluarga tradisional, upacara pernikahan dilakukan menurut tradisi turun-temurun yang terdiri dari banyak sub-upacara.
Daftar isi[sembunyikan]
1 Lamaran
2 Persiapan Pernikahan
2.1 Hiasan Pernikahan
3 Upacara Siraman
3.1 Pecah Kendi
3.2 Pangkas Rikma lan Tanam Rikma
3.3 Ngerik
3.4 Gendhongan
3.5 Dodol Dhawet
3.6 Temu Panggih
3.7 Penyerahan Cikal
3.8 Penyerahan Jago Kisoh
3.9 Tukar Manuk Cengkir Gading
4 Upacara Midodaren
4.1 Peningsetan
4.2 Nyantri
5 Upacara Ijab
6 Pawai (untuk anggota kerajaan)
7 Lihat pula
8 Pranala luar
//
[sunting] Lamaran
Keluarga calon mempelai pria mendatangi (atau mengirim utusan ke) keluarga calon mempelai perempuan untuk melamar putri keluarga tersebut menjadi istri putra mereka. Pada acara ini, kedua keluarga jika belum saling mengenal dapat lebih jauh mengenal satu sama lain, dan berbincang-bincang mengenai hal-hal yang ringan. Biasanya keluarga dari calon mempelai perempuan yang mempunyai hak menentukan lebih banyak, karena merekalah yang biasanya menentukan jenis pernikahannya:
Paes Agung yaitu pernikahan agung
Paes Kesatriyan yaitu pernikahan jenis ksatria yang lebih sederhana
Jika lamaran diterima, maka kedua belah pihak akan mulai mengurus segala persiapan pernikahan.
[sunting] Persiapan Pernikahan
Setelah lamaran diterima, maka hal selanjutnya yang dilakukan adalah mempersiapkan pesta pernikahan. Pesta pernikahan Jawa adat Surakarta yang lengkap memerlukan banyak hal, dan pesta tersebut tidak dapat terlaksana tanpa bantuan seorang profesional. Orang yang bertanggung jawab mengatur segala persiapan pernikahan adat Jawa tersebut disebut Pemaes yang mewakili mempelai perempuan. Pemaes atau juru rias ini antara lain bertanggung jawab mengatur pakaian dan rias muka yang akan dikenakan oleh kedua pengantin. Selain itu panitia yang terdiri dari sang Pemaes dan kerabat-kerabat dekat pengantin juga mengatur berbagai hal seputar pesta yang akan dilangsungkan:
makanan dan minuman yang akan disajikan
tari-tarian dan musik (biasanya musik gamelan)yang akan mengiringi pesta
pembawa acara (emcee) yang akan diundang
acara Siraman
acara Ijab dan saksi-saksinya
kata sambutan
keamanan, transportasi, komunikasi, dokumentasi
sewa gedung (akomodasi), perlengkapan pesta, dan lain sebagainya
dekorasi tempat pernikahan
Hal terpenting yang harus mereka persiapkan adalah acara Ijab (upacara pernikahan sipil), yang melegitimasi kedua pasangan sebagai suami dan istri yang sah.
[sunting] Hiasan Pernikahan
Sehari sebelum pernikahan, biasanya gerbang rumah pengantin perempuan akan dihiasi janur kuning yang terdiri dari berbagai macam tumbuhan dan daun-daunan:
2 pohon pisang dengan setandan pisang masak pada masing-masing pohon, melambangkan suami yang akan menjadi kepala rumah tangga yang baik dan pasangan yang akan hidup baik dan bahagia dimanapun mereka berada (seperti pohon pisang yang mudah tumbuh dimanapun).
Tebu Wulung atau tebu merah, yang berarti keluarga yang mengutamakan pikiran sehat.
Cengkir Gading atau buah kelapa muda, yang berarti pasangan suami istri akan saling mencintai dan saling menjagai dan merawat satu sama lain.
Berbagai macam daun seperti daun beringin, daun mojo-koro, daun alang-alang, dadap serep, sebagai simbol kedua pengantin akan hidup aman dan keluarga mereka terlindung dari mara bahaya.
Selain itu di atas gerbang rumah juga dipasang bekletepe yaitu hiasan dari daun kelapa untuk mengusir roh-roh jahat dan sebagai tanda bahwa ada acara pernikahan sedang berlangsung di tempat tersebut.
Sebelum Tarub dan janur kuning tersebut dipasang, sesajen atau persembahan sesajian biasanya dipersiapkan terlebih dahulu. Sesajian tersebut antara lain terdiri dari: pisang, kelapa, beras, daging sapi, tempe, buah-buahan, roti, bunga, bermacam-macam minuman termasuk jamu, lampu, dan lainnya.
Arti simbolis dari sesajian ini adalah agar diberkati leluhur dan dilindungi dari roh-roh jahat. Sesajian ini diletakkan di tempat-tempat dimana upacara pernikahan akan dilangsungkan, seperti kamar mandi, dapur, pintu gerbang, di bawah Tarub, di jalanan di dekat rumah, dan sebagainya.
Dekorasi lain yang dipersiapkan adalah Kembar Mayang yang akan digunakan dalam upacara panggih
[sunting] Upacara Siraman
Acara yang dilakukan pada siang hari sebelum Ijab atau upacara pernikahan ini bertujuan untuk membersihkan jiwa dan raga. Siraman biasanya dilakukan di kamar mandi atau taman keluarga masing-masing dan dilakukan oleh orang tua atau wakil mereka.
Ada tujuh Pitulungan atau penolong (Pitu artinya tujuh)- biasanya tujuh orang yang dianggap baik atau penting - yang membantu acara ini. Airnya merupakan campuran dari kembang setaman yang disebut Banyu Perwitosari yang jika memungkinkan diambil dari tujuh mata air dan melambangkan kehidupan. Keluarga pengantin perempuan akan mengirim utusan dengan membawa Banyu Perwitosari ke kediaman keluarga pengantin pria dan menuangkannya di dalam rumah pengantin pria.
Acara siraman diawali oleh orang tua dan ditutup oleh Pemaes yang kemudian dilanjutkan dengan memecahkan kendi.
Banyak hal yang harus dipersiapkan sebelum acara dimulai:
Tempat air dari perunggu atau tembaga yang berisi air dari tujuh mata air.
Kembang setaman yaitu bunga-bunga seperti mawar, melati, cempaka, kenanga, yang ditaruh di air.
Aroma lima warna yang digunakan sebagai sabun.
Sabun cuci rambut tradisional dari abu dari merang, santan, dan air asam Jawa.
Gayung yang berasal dari kulit kelapa sebagai ciduk air.
Kursi yang dilapisi tikar, kain putih, dedaunan, kain lurik untuk tempat duduk pengantin selama prosesi berlangsung.
Kain putih untuk dipakai selama upacara siraman.
Baju batik untuk dipakai setelah uparaca siraman.
Kendi.
Sesajian
Sesajian merupakan hal yang dianggap penting dalam upacara Jawa. Sesajian untuk siraman terdiri dari berbagai macam sajian:
Tumpeng Robyong, nasi kuning dengan hiasan-hiasan.
Tumpeng Gundhul, nasi kuning tanpa hiasan.
Makanan seperti ayam, tahu, telur.
Buah-buahan seperti pisang dan lain-lain.
Kelapan muda.
Tujuh macam bubur.
Jajanan seperti kue manis, lemper, cendol.
Seekor ayam jago
Lampu lentera
Kembang Telon - tiga macam bunga (kenanga, melati, cempaka).
Urut-urutan acara siraman adalah sebagai berikut:
Pengantin pria / perempuan dengan rambut terurai keluar dari kamarnya diiringi oleh orang tuanya masing-masing.
Pengantin tersebut berjalan menuju tempat siraman.
Beberapa orang berjalan di belakang mereka membawa baju batik, handuk, dan sebagainya.
Pengantin tersebut duduk di kursi dan memanjatkan doa.
Sang ayah memandikan sang pengantin, disusul oleh sang ibu.
Sang pengantin duduk dengan kedua tangan diletakkan di depan dalam posisi berdoa.
Mereka menuangkan air ke atas tangannya dan sang pengantin berkumur tiga kali.
Lalu mereka menuangkan air ke atas kepalanya, muka, telinga, leher, tangan dan kaki masing masing tiga kali.
Setelah orang tua menyelesaikan prosesi siraman disusul oleh empat orang lain yang dianggap penting.
Orang terakhir yang memandikan sang pengantin adalah Pemaes atau orang lain yang dianggap spesial. Sang pengantin dimandikan dengan sabun dan shampo (secara simbolik).
Setelah itu acara pecah kendi yang dilakukan oleh ibu pengantin perempuan.
Sang pengantin akan mengenakan baju batik kemudian diiringi kembali ke kamar pengantin dan bersiap siap untuk acara Midodaren
[sunting] Pecah Kendi
Kendi yang digunakan untuk siraman diambil. Ibu pengantin perempuan atau Pameas(untuk siraman pengantin pria) atau orang yang terakhir akan memecahkan kendi dan mengatakan: "Wis Pecah Pamore" - artinya sekarang sang pengantin siap untuk menikah.
[sunting] Pangkas Rikma lan Tanam Rikma
Acara memotong sedikit rambut pengantin perempuan dan potongan rambut tersebut ditanam di rumah belakang.
[sunting] Ngerik
Setelah acara Siraman, pengantin perempuan duduk di dalam kamarnya. Pemaes lalu mengeringkan rambutnya dan memberi pewangi di rambutnya. Rambutnya lalu disisir dan digelung atau dibentuk konde. Setelah Pameas mengeringkan wajah dan leher sang pengantin, lalu ia mulai mendandani wajah sang pengantin. Lalu sang pengantin akan dipakaikan baju kebaya dan kain batik. Sesajian untuk upacara Ngerik pada dasarnya sama untuk acara siraman. Biasanya supaya lebih mudah sesajian untuk siraman digunakan / dimasukkan ke kamar pengantin dan dipakai untuk sesajian upacara Ngerik.
[sunting] Gendhongan
Kedua orang tua pengantin perempuan menggendong anak mereka yang melambangkan ngentaske artinya mengentaskan seorang anak
[sunting] Dodol Dhawet
Kedua orang tua pengantin wanita berjualan minuman dawet yaitu minuman manis khas Solo, tujuannya agar banyak tamu yang datang.
[sunting] Temu Panggih
Penyerahan pisang sanggan berupa gedung ayu suruh ayu sebagai tebusan atau syarat untuk pengantin perempuan.
[sunting] Penyerahan Cikal
Sebagai tanda agar kehidupan mendatang menjadi orang berguna dan tak kurang suatu apapun.
[sunting] Penyerahan Jago Kisoh
Sebagai tanda melepaskan anak dengan penuh ikhlas.
[sunting] Tukar Manuk Cengkir Gading
Acara tukar menukar kembang mayang diawali tukar menukar manuk cengkir gading, sebagai simbol agar kedua pengantin menjadi pasangan yang berguna bagi keluarga dan masyarakat
[sunting] Upacara Midodaren
Acara ini dilakukan pada malam hari sesudah siraman. Midodaren berarti menjadikan sang pengantin perempuan secantik dewi Widodari. Pengantin perempuan akan tinggal di kamarnya mulai dari jam enam sore sampai tengah malam dan ditemani oleh kerabat-kerabatnya yang perempuan. Mereka akan bercakap-cakap dan memberikan nasihat kepada pengantin perempuan.
Orang tua pengantin perempuan akan memberinya makan untuk terakhir kalinya, karena mulai besok ia akan menjadi tanggung jawab suaminya.
[sunting] Peningsetan
Peningsetan yang berasal dari kata 'singset' atau langsing, memiliki arti untuk mempersatukan; Kedua keluarga mempelai setuju untuk kedua anak mereka disatukan dalam tali pernikahan. Keluarga pengantin pria datang berkunjung ke kediaman keluarga pengantin perempuan membawa berbagai macam hadiah:
Satu set Suruh Ayu (semacam daun yang wangi), mendoakan keselamatan.
Pakaian batik dengan motif yang berbeda-beda, mendoakan kebahagiaan.
Kain kebaya, mendoakan kebahagiaan.
Ikat pinggang kain (setagen) bewarna putih, melambangkan kemauan yang kuat dari mempelai perempuan
Buah-buahan, mendoakan kesehatan.
Beras, gula, garam, minyak, dll, melambangkan kebutuhan hidup sehari-hari.
Sepasang cincin untuk kedua mempelai.
Sejumlah uang untuk digunakan di acara pernikahan.
Acara ini disebut juga acara serah-serahan - bisa diartikan sang calon mempelai perempuan 'diserahkan' kepada keluarga calon mempelai pria sebagai menantu mereka atau calon mempelai pria nyantri di kediaman keluarga calon mempelai perempuan.
Pada masa kini, demi alasan kepraktisan, kedua belah pihak kadang-kadang dapat berbicara langsung tanpa upacara apapun. Selain menghemat waktu dan uang, juga langsung pada pokok persoalan.
Sesajian untuk upacara midodaren:
Nasi dimasak dengan santan.
Ayam inkung yang telah dimasak
Bumbu sayuran
Kembang telon
Teh dan kopi pahit
Minuman kelapa muda dengan gula kelapa
Lampu lentera yang dinyalakan
Pisang Raja
Kembang setaman
Lemper, kue
Rokok dan kretek
Barang-barang yang ditaruh di kamar pengantin:
Satu set Kembar Mayang.
Dua kendi yang diisi bumbu, jamu, beras, kacang, dll, dan ditutupi kain batik.
Dua kendi yang berisi air kembang setaman ditutupi daun dadap serep.
Ukub yaitu sebuah nampan berisi wangi-wangian daun dan bunga yang diletakkan di bawah tempat tidur.
Suruh Ayu
Kacang
Tujuh macam kain tradisional.
Makanan sesajian dapat dikeluarkan dari kamar setelah tengah malam. Sanak keluarga dan para tamu dapat memakannya. Pada zaman dahulu, acara temu keluarga antara kedua keluarga pengantin dilakukan setelah tengah malam, namun sekarang ini, dengan alasan kepraktisan, kedua keluarga dapat bertemu seperti yang disebutkan di atas.
[sunting] Nyantri
Selama acara midodaren berlangsung, calon mempelai pria tidak boleh masuk menemui keluarga calon mempelai perempuan. Selama keluarganya berada di dalam rumah, ia hanya boleh duduk di depan rumah ditemani oleh beberapa teman atau anggota keluarga. Dalam kurun waktu itu, ia hanya boleh diberi segelas air, dan tidak diperbolehkan merokok. Sang calon mempelai pria baru boleh makan setelah tengah malam. Hal itu merupakan pelajaran bahwa ia harus dapat menahan lapar dan godaan. Sebelum keluarganya meninggalkan rumah tersebut, kedua orang tuanya akan menitipkan anak mereka kepada keluarga calon mempelai perempuan, dan malam itu sang calon mempelai pria tidak akan pulang ke rumah. Setelah mereka keluar dari rumah dan pulan, calon mempelai pria diijinkan masuk ke rumah namun tidak diijinkan masuk ke kamar pengantin. Calon mertuanya akan mengatur tempat tinggalnya malam itu. Ini disebut dengan Nyantri. Nyantri dilakukan untuk alasan keamanan dan praktis, mengingat bahwa besok paginya calon pengantin akan didandani dan dipersiapkan untuk acara Ijab dan acara-acara lainnya.
[sunting] Upacara Ijab
Ijab atau ijab kabul adalah pengesahan pernihakan sesuai agama pasangan pengantin. Secara tradisi dalam upacara ini keluarga pengantin perempuan menyerahkan / menikahkan anaknya kepada pengantin pria, dan keluarga pengantin pria menerima pengantin wanita dan disertai dengan penyerahan emas kawin bagi pengantin perempuan. Upacara ini disaksikan oleh pejabat pemerintah atau petugas catatan sipil yang akan mencatat pernikahan mereka di catatan pemerintah.
[sunting] Pawai (untuk anggota kerajaan)
Untuk pernikahan anggota kerajaan Surakarta, setelah upacara panggih diakhiri dengan pawai yang meriah agar seluruh warga kota Solo dapat melihat anggota kerajaan yang baru menikah. Pada acara ini seluruh anggota keraton termasuk tentara keraton berpakaian serba tradisional.
Jika yang menikah adalah seorang pangeran, maka sang pangeran mengendarai kuda di bagian paling belakang pawai, di belakang kereta kerajaan yang berisi sang istri pangeran.
Prosesi pawai mengelilingi halaman keraton selama satu kali kemudian iring-iringan akan memasuki halaman keraton.
Upacara panggih/temu (mengawali acara resepsi) Pada upacara ini kembar mayang akan dibawa keluar rumah dan diletakan di persimpangan dekat rumah yang tujuannya untuk mengusir roh jahat. Kembar mayang adalah karangan bunga yang terdiri dari daun-daun pohon kelapa yang ditancapkan ke sebatang tanggul kelapa. Dekorasi ini memiliki makna yang luas:
Berbentuk seperti gunung, tinggi dan luas, melambangkan seorang laki-laki harus berpengetahuan luas, berpengalaman, dan sabar.
Hiasan menyerupai keris, pasangan harus berhati-hati di dalam hidup mereka.
Hiasan menyerupai cemeti, pasangan harus selalu berpikir positif dengan harapan untuk hidup bahagia.
Hiasan menyerupai payung, pasangan harus melindungi keluarga mereka.
Hiasan menyerupai belalang, pasangan harus tangkas, berpikir cepat dan mengambil keputusan untuk keselamatan keluarga mereka.
Hiasan menyerupai burung, pasangan harus memiliki tujuan hidup yang tinggi.
Daun beringin, pasangan harus selalu melindungi keluarga mereka dan orang lain.
Daun kruton, melindungi pasangan pengantin dari roh-roh jahat.
Daun dadap serep, daun ini dapat menjadi obat turun panas, menandakan pasangan harus selalu berpikiran jernih dan tenang dalam menghadapi segala permasalahan (menenangkan perasaan dan mendinginkan kepala).
Bunga Patra Manggala, digunakan untuk mempercantik hiasan kembar mayang.
Sebagai hiasan, sepasang kembar mayang diletakkan di samping kanan dan kiri tempat duduk pengantin selama resepsi pernikahan. Kembar mayang hanya digunakan jika pasangan pengantin belum pernah menikah sebelumnya.
Setelah itu pengantin laki-laki (dengan ditemani kerabat dekatnya (orang tuanya tidak boleh menemaninya dalam acara ini) tiba di depan gerbang rumah pengantin perempuan dan pengantin perempuan keluar dari kamar pengantin dengan diapit oleh dua orang tetua perempuan dan diikuti dengan orang tua dan keluarganya. Di depannya dua anak perempuan (yang disebut Patah) berjalan dan dua remaja laki-laki berjalan membawa kembar mayang dan kemudian melanjutkan upacara dengan melakukan beberapa ritual:
Balangan Suruh Pada saat jarak mereka sekitar tiga meter, mereka saling melempar tujuh bungusan yang berisi daun sirih, jeruk, yang ditali dengan benang putih. Mereka melempar dengan penuh semangat dan tertawa. Dengan melempar daun sirih satu sama lain, menandakan bahwa mereka adalah manusia, bukan makhluk jadi-jadian yang menyamar jadi pengantin. Selain itu ritual ini juga melambangkan cinta kasih dan kesetiaan.
Wiji Dadi Mempelai laki-laki menginjak telur ayam hingga pecah dengan kaki kanan, kemudian pengantin perempuan akan membasuh kaki sang suami dengan air bunga. Proses ini melambangkan seorang suami dan ayah yang bertanggung jawab terhadap keluarganya dan istri yang taat melayani suaminya
Pupuk Ibu pengantin perempuan yang mengusap pengantin laki-laki sebagai tanda ikhlas menerimanya sebagai bagian dari keluarga.
Sindur Binayang Di dalam ritual ini ayah pengantin perempuan menuntun pasangan pengantin ke kursi pelaminan, ibu pengantin perempuan menyampirkan kain sindur sebagai tanda bahwa sang ayah menunjukkan jalan menuju kebahagiaan dan sang ibu memberikan dukungan moral.
Timbang / Pangkon Di dalam ritual ini pasangan pengantin duduk di pangkuan ayah pengantin perempuan, dan sang ayah akan berkata bahwa berat mereka sama, berarti bahwa cinta mereka sama-sama kuat dan juga sebagai tanda kasih sayang orang tua terhadap anak dan menantu sama besarnya.
Tanem Di dalam ritual ini ayah pengantin perempuan mendudukkan pasangan pengantin di kursi pengantin sebagai tanda merestui pernikahan mereka dan memberikan berkat.
Tukar Kalpika Mula-mula, pengantin pria meninggalkan kamarnya dengan diapit oleh anggota laki-laki keluarga (saudara laki-laki dan paman-paman). Seorang anggota keluarga yang dihormati terpilih untuk berperan sebagai kepala rombongan.
Pada waktu yang sama, pengantin perempuan juga meninggalkan kamar sambil diapit oleh bibi-bibinya untuk menemui pengantin pria. Sekarang kedua pengantin duduk di meja dengan wakil-wakil dari masing-masing keluarga, dan kemudian saling menukarkan cincin sebagai tanda cinta.
Kacar-kucur / Tampa Kaya / Tandur Dengan bantuan Pemaes, pasangan pengantin berjalan dengan memegang jari kelingking pasangannya, ke tempat ritual kacar-kucur atau tampa kaya. Pengantin pria akan menuangkan kacang kedelai, kacang tanah, beras, jagung, beras ketan, bunga dan uang logam (jumlahnya harus genap) ke pangkuan perempuan sebagai simbol pemberian nafkah. Pengantin perempuan menerima hadiah ini dengan dibungkus kain putih yang ada di pangkuannya sebagai simbol istri yang baik dan peduli.
Dahar Kembul / Dahar Walimah Kedua pengantin saling menyuapi nasi satu sama lain yang melambangkan kedua mempelai akan hidup bersama dalam susah dan senang dan saling menikmati milik mereka bersama. Pemaes akan memberikan sebuah piring kepada pengantin perempuan (berisi nasi kuning, telur goreng, kedelai, tempe, abon, dan hati ayam). Pertama-tama, pengantin pria membuat tiga bulatan nasi dengan tangan kanannya dan menyuapkannya ke mulut pengantin perempuan. Setelah itu ganti pengantin perempuan yang menyuapi pengantin pria. Setelah makan, mereka lalu minum teh manis.
Rujak Degan Acara pembuka untuk anak pertama, memohon supaya segera memiliki anak. Rujak degan artinya agar dalam pernikahan selalu sehat sejahtera.
Bubak Kawah Acara perebutan alat-alat dapur untuk anak pertama. Artinya agar pernikahan keduanya sehat dan sejahtera.
Tumplak Punjen Acara awal untuk anak bungsu. Artinya segala kekayaan ditumpahkan karena menantu yang terakhir.
Mertui Orang tua pengantin perempuan menjemput orang tua pengantin laki-laki di depan rumah untuk berjalan bersama menuju tempat upacara. Kedua ibu berjalan di muka, kedua ayah di belakang. Orang tua pengantin pria duduk di sebelah kiri pasangan pengantin, dan sebaliknya.
Sungkeman Kedua pengantin bersujud memohon restu dari masing-masing orang tua. Pertama-tama ayah dan ibu pengantin perempuan, kemudian baru ayah dan ibu pengantin pria. Selama sungkeman, Pemaes mengambil keris dari pengantin pria, dan setelah sungkeman baru dikembalikan lagi.
Resepsi Setelah semua upacara selesai dilakukan, saatnya untuk resepsi pernikahan dan para tamu mulai makan dan minum makanan tradisional Solo dengan disertai tari tradisional Jawa dan musik gamelan. Acara foto-foto dan salam-salaman dengan kedua pengantin juga dilangsungkan.

INDONESIAN NICE WEDDING

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Kamis, 02 September 2010

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